Goddess Series

The Great Dichotomy

2006-01-03T18:27:00.000+08:00

No one should suffer poverty; then again, no one should enjoy great wealth. There is a reason why there must be a balance in all things, but it is a fact that people are living lives in the extremes. Be it their behaviour, or their state of everyday affairs, this should not be happening.

Why? In the current world where due to human greed, the only suitable government system is Capitalism/Democracy, the poor can only become poorer, and the rich richer. Attitudes and behaviour follow suit based on the financial statuses of families. Poor families become paranoid, living in fear, their behaviour is uncivilized because of the lack of need of it. Rich people become snobbish over time, feeding on the sweat of their underlings.

It takes time to change this, but considering how it hasn't changed, my best guess is that it is impossible.

Die Machtig Pferch

2005-12-19T19:29:00.000+08:00

"The pen is mightier than the sword." Is what an old idiom would go. It was used in the old days to indicate that a man of words would succeed in life, or advance farther than one who relied on brute force to get his way. Even now in modern society, the words still apply and to a significant extent too. Considering how nowadays, in nearly every modern society, the laws of civilized governments consider even undesired skin contact as assault. Meaning that merely beating someone for having done anything against you is going to land you in jail.

Even than, there is also laws to prevent verbal abuse, which also lends people in jail. As such, many who are uneducated and do not have the knowledge to defend themselves legally are on the disadvantaged end of the spectrum. Those who are uneducated also find themselves jobless, as more and more employers seek workers who are not only young and cheap, but also have paper qualifications to back them up.

This really puts nearly more than half of the world's population on a scale where they either barely make enough to live their lives day to day, unable to climb the social ladder; or literally starving to death outright. The fact that many people who live in capitalist nations suffer from the "richer get richer, and the poorer get poorer" syndrome does not help. Even places where other alternative forms of government come about, it is still the fact that people who are unable to afford the chance to study are kept in the lower rungs of society as well as the rest of their lineage.

Some nations, despite the government actually making an effort to subsidize the cost of education, or even making it free, students are still unable to concentrate on studies because of the fact that most if not all have to at least take on a job to supplement their family income. This is because there are no government handouts.

Even with handouts, then, the government are forced to keep it low and sparse, to prevent tax hikes and to avoid a lazing population.

In this case, even anarchy is not the solution, as it just puts people in constant need to be aware of physical dangers like assault, arson and other crimes that would normally be covered by a legal system that comes with governance.

That is, what needs to be changed is the way people think. One should not put those with more paper qualification in higher regard than those without it. Instead, the better way is to emphasize how loyal and hardworking an employee is to the company. Although I think initially that people of education ought to be compensated upon entering the workforce, because of the time and money they had to spend schooling, I feel that after years pass, the pay of people on both ends of the education spectrum should be even and fair.

Although promotions should be given to those who are qualified to take the position needed to keep a company needed, how significant a rise between paychecks should be an indication of how devoted the employee is to his company.

I say this because modern man has had their morals corroded to the point where they take more pride in worthless paper over what matters most to the welfare of society.

Personality Test?

2005-12-15T19:20:00.000+08:00

Your anime hair color is blue.

What is your anime hair color?
brought to you by Quizilla

-Hell I don't even know why I felt bored enough to even bother to do this, but well, I kinda like the results.

-Not expecting to see the opposite of the usual philosophical teachings you see? Wait till I find something to speak of.

Kunstfertigkeit

2005-12-14T09:13:00.000+08:00

Not many people in this modern era appreciates old art anymore. Although it is still a huge industry, real classical art is hardly present in any line of work. Instead, these forms of art are replaced by things like anime or cartoons, in terms of traditional drawn pieces. Contemperory art pieces replace traditional metal or stone sculptures.

The advance in technology has allowed men to easily make normal functional buildings, an artistic work as its secondary motive, thus replacing and outnumbering alot of old architectural marvels of the classical era.

I am not really complaining about new art pieces replacing the good old ones, both are just as good as they reflect the times they were made in. I myself love animations and cartoons, and I admire buildings done with a modern artistic sense. But what bugs me is that many kids nowadays are brought up with little sense of artistic knowledge. Considering our lifestyle, where life is fast paced, and we live in huge cities, our kids rarely get a chance to bond with the natural world which gives a sense of colour to a child.

The lack of complementing natural colours in a city where a child grows up in makes it harder for kids to learn to appreciate art. Instead, our children grow up in an environment that emphasizes on economical academics, instead of the way old people did. Scholars in Imperial China once studied not with math and science as their basis, but instead on cultural poems and prose, they did literature and ink paintings. Richer children in Rome and Gaellic France were sent to school to learn not just to read and write, but also painting and the like. However, we are stuck with a curriculum these days that hardly puts any emphasis on these aspects of education.

The world sure has changed, and not for the better either.

Pedes Pupa

2005-12-12T17:14:00.000+08:00

I have this fascination with dolls, and not just the kind of dolls you see on toy shelves like Barbie or Strawberry Shortcakes. I'm talking gothic lolita dolls usually sold in Korea or Japan. I mean, they look beautiful. And to prove what I mean, you guys should go check this site out: www.dreamofdoll.com . They make some pretty good dolls.

Its not like I am weird or anything, nothing to do with being kiddy or mentally disturbed even though many people think dealing in this is so (Example of disturbing dolls, look here : http://www.autopsybabies.com/) Maybe its me, or something else, but I sure do like spending nearly half the day dressing up make-believe kids. I think its this sort of personal satisfaction I feel I can get after the creation of every "perfect" doll. Although I have limited funds now, I believe saving up to make it a full time hobby will be due in time.

I prefer making my own dolls, but without the skills, I still can fulfill that by buying parts and assembling them in my own image. Clothes-wise, thats no problem, tailoring is pretty much easily learned, I could do it after watching my Mom in a day or two.

What fuelled my fascination for these dolls started with the hit TV series Rozen Maiden (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rozen_Maiden) which had featured dolls that could walk, talk and live lives like any ordinary human.

Although such magical dolls that could move without the limitations of being lifeless, or eat without the need to excrete would seriously be a godsend if I ever recieved one, or even had the chance to purchase one would be far from feasible, nevertheless have I already been hooked into the world of collector dolls.

Good dollmakers are rare, especially those that make the kinds that are catered to my tastes, and so far, the Dream of Doll company is the only one I have ever found to be dealing in dolls that I like. Pity though, their prices are steep, even for hand-made dolls, and they are based in Korea which makes transactions more complicated for a teenager who doesn't even have a credit card.

Still, I don't mind waiting another few more years before the dough comes rolling in, maybe then I will start my little collection.

Sciences and the Supernatural

2005-11-21T08:17:00.000+08:00

Different or the same? Which is the bogus one? Basically, in the point of view in modern society, science itself stands as what is real and what is right. Most people dismiss the supernatural as mer hocus pocus that the old-fashioned dabble in to keep their roots.

Seriously, how many times do people have togo through the trouble of getting killed by unknown reasons or left psychologically scarred by non-psychologically ailments for life just to punch the point through that the supernatural is as real as science is.

Basically, what I see is that science is a form of medium to explain the physical world around us. Ever wonder why we have so many categories in sciences? It is to explain the different aspects of this world we live in. Why can't people see the supernatural in the same light? That the occult is a form of science that people have formulated in ages past as a science to explain WHAT CANNOT be explained by modern contexts.

So saying that the supernatural may or may not exist, then we can always say it exists, just to stay on the safe side. Most symptoms of supernatural attacks on a person may coincide with signs of a logical medical ailment. The only difference is that upon inspection, people find no cause or reason for the degradation of the bodily system.

Can it be because of the mind? What someone is thinking or how he feels or even what he believes have been proven to either degrade or improve a person's condition while in sickness. But then, would such thoughts be powerful enough to kill someone? Possibly, many have died from grief.

And then again, maybe you can try explaining why things like resonance and heavy force and effects are happening to inanimate objects in a locale, yet scientific instruments pick up no signs of gravitational or other explainable forces. Or why some people are able to stick items to their bare skin, and they cannot be found to have signs of magnetism in them.

Sometimes, these things have to be explained with an open mind; with a mixed concept of science and the supernatural belief. This topic, is up to you to decide, what is right or wrong.

Heldenhaft Feigheit

2005-11-04T12:25:00.000+08:00

Those who run away, get to live to see another day. Its better if you knew where you stand in a situation, rather than over step your boundaries, only to find out you have no way of dealing with it. Brash heroics are the result of two kinds of people, those who are blatantly stupid or those who have calculated preparation.

It isn't true when one says that just because you ran away from trouble, you are a coward. Cowardice is sometimes the better part of valour, it is how you use it. A brave person, must be wise too. And he must know when the trade is worth it in situations where his life is on end. It would be better if he just dropped and ran if the cost of his life, values greater than the effects of his death.

Heroes there are many, a life there is only one. Remember that. A life must be preserved at all costs, heroics aside. No one needs a martyr. Sometimes, it is better to live a coward's life than die a hero's death. Why? The living can start all over again, but the dead cannot. The living can right wrongs, but the dead are stuck with guilt.

One can never imagine what is the truth of heroics unless one learns cowardice first. That is why people nowadays blindly run forth to their dooms thinking they can earn a place in the legacy of the world. They were no better than worthless fools deserving eternal suffering in wherever their filthy lives spawned from.

Fear

2005-10-25T15:00:00.000+08:00

This is... about the first time I have ever written about myself, or anything outside my own ideals for that matter. But I had to just write this down, somewhere.

I just can't seem to see what's real anymore. I twitch at the slightest of motions, and I can't even get any ease from anything.

I guess I worry more so than need be. But I just can't get them out of my head, they keep comng back, they want me to see. I get edgy with all that running around.

I wonder if I have anything good going for me until at least the end of this year. It has been... a falling waterfall for me ever since January. Guess I used up all that luck too quickly. And to think I prided myself for having more of it than most people.

I guess I will have to watch out. I cannot count on the Lady to back me up anymore. Besides, that extra caution may save me from my Otherside, and my late sister's mischief. They have been acting up lately. I will have to watch those two.

Supernatural Realism

2005-10-24T19:27:00.000+08:00

Even the dead will die, one day. Nothing is forever, for only the intangible continue. Even then, only specific intangibles, the most core aspect of personality. I doubt there is even the existance of life after death, or even reincarnation. I do not believe in deities, because they are beings created from need. I do not believe in horrors, for they are beings created from our fears, to keep us going.

Spectres, phantoms, ghosts and wraiths? I pray so they are more likely living creatures born from the essence or cells from the dead, with not more than a base level of sentience albeit its human-like outward appearance. Clearly, it takes two hands to clap, and what creates these "abberations" we call ghosts stem from individual guilt, sins, phobias and experiences. And from that fear which "ghosts" play on, the cycle continues.

Why then? Do people continue acknowledging the existance of the supernatural? Is it for religious or cultural heritage that they continue to pass down the knowledge? Such folklore could easily be explained as merely rarely seen natural living creatures that mankind are not familiar with. Sprites, elves, dwarves, they all could be just another step in homosapien evolution. Monstrosities are no different from being just land-based versions of our giant squids and sharks, albeit a more grotesque appearance.

Maybe then, it is just human ignorance that they wish to blind themselves from the real truth that there is nothing to be afraid of. Or that fear was used to induce order by leaders or parents, on their people or children. Either way, it would be pointless.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die."
-Extract from The Call of Cthulhu by H.P. Lovecraft

Saecula Saeculorum

2005-10-16T13:36:00.000+08:00

Many sought to manipulate life. Many failed doing so. And for what reasons do they pursue such foolish dreams? They wish to accelerate their aging process to be adults faster, they may also wish to slow it, praying to whatever diety they serve in an attempt to avoid being one step closer to the coffin.

Life has always been a long arduous journey where one could only look ahead. Every step forward meant that no one could turn back. In everyone's life, there will be a time where one will have to decide at a crossroad. Would they rather be contented with what they have, or sally forth for more? Would they handle matters in an upright manner or succumb to unscrupulous dealings to attain their ends?

At the end of the day, the one who decided his fate, will have to answer for it himself. No one can say that he was never given a chance. No one can say he regrets. We all have enough time, all of us. It is a matter of how we use that time wisely. A pity to say, rarely few have ever bothered to treasure their lives, not till the time comes where they found out, they have no more chances, no more choices, only the end of the tunnel.

A person will never know how to understand this because of how they have been living, taking things for granted like spoiled children. No one is perfect in this sense, and even I admit I myself take such stuff for granted. But it is the fact that many seek to blame their choices on anything else but themselves, that this problem ought to be rectified.

It has always been their choice. Its about how you do it.

Vis et Quies

2005-10-06T21:19:00.000+08:00

Frankly speaking, I believe there must be some form of compromise between aggression and pacifism. But in modern times, with all those wonderful gadgetries and tinkerings our engineers come up with, and along with the rise in electronic media, violence is easily publicised far and wide.

As more children these days grow up learning by imitating famous television show characters, the fact that violence is hugely a part of film making unnerves me since the leech effect on children can promote heightened aggression, fierce independance and a dominating persona in later years if development. Even superhero shows and comics like 'Batman' and the 'PowerPuff Girls' are actually violent, although producers cleverly disguise that with the veil of the character's "heroism".

Most modern cases of fights and petty armed conflicts stem from the rise in violent games and shows. Many accounts of armed gunmen randomly killing people on the streets usually started from the alleged suspect's addiction to violent games or prolonged exposure to provocative media.

But although violence causes a lot of trouble, we cannot deny it is a neccesity in our everyday lives. Whereas a pacifist world could be ideal at any point, there are several things that would be disastrous should it come to fruition. Firstly, pacifists are generally few and it is nigh on impossible to reverse human nature. Secondly, pacifism weaken's a person's resolve to compete amongst his fellows as he has no wish to harm another. This stagnates the world economy. also the lack of will is ever omnipresent, and pacifists are generally incapable of defending themselves.

One could say that aggression is the backbone of human survival and instinct whereas pacifism is the hand of guidance.

You can actually see this at work between both sides. While an overly aggressive man can live alone for quite a long time perfectly, and that he is capable of defending himself, he is generally unwelcome in society. Whereas it is the opposite for a pacifist where he gets along with people , but is unable to eke out a living among even the lightest of competition because of his way of life.

Aggression and pacifism is like your left and right hand, or better still, your heart and brain. One could hardly live without one or the other. Aggression seeks to preserve the individual's existance on this planet and in turn, pacifism gives the individual reasoning, guidance and restraint just as good and evil works. A balance in these two aspects of personality results in one who is able to live properly, with reason and conditional aggressiveness. A heavy shift to either side of the spectrum can be dangerous to the individual and those around him.

Morality issues and effects aside, it goes to show that while it is not wrong to indulge in violent media once in a while to refresh one's primal roots, it is definitely wrong to overly publicise violence which could lead to several cases of injury.

I am not a pacifist, nor am I a war maniac, but speaking based on what is happening in the omdern world these days where wars, terrorism and armed conflicts are rampant, I see no reason to glorify gore and killings while ignoring that last love song on this little planet.

Crimson Butterfly

2005-10-03T17:59:00.000+08:00

Deep undeground, I kept digging a hole
Without knowing where it would lead
With a dirt-covered eyepiece in one hand
I searched for your arm
Scraping together patchwork happiness, and sowing it,
I was crushed by your strength

Burned on Burned on
The inerasable scars left by the palms of my hands
Sever a rift in the red-stained clouds with my torn wings
See, I can flutter better than you thought

The eternity that I dreamed while confined in my cocoon
Where will it take seed and blossom?
The morning will eventually come and bring the darkness back home,
And steal my eyes away from me
Fumbling for you by moonlight, overlapping and entangling with you,
I believed I could become your true hiding place

Burned on Burned on
The place of our promise that will never return
Run across the black-stained earth with a torn-off agony
See, I can flutter better than you thought

If you can't hear me, even though I scream
I want you to destroy me with your own hands
While you can still hold me dear
Your arms that hold me back
Turn into a gentle dust
A simply stare at the sky, silently

Burned on Burned on
The inerasable scars left by the palms of my hands
Sever a rift in the red-stained clouds with my torn wings
Burned on Burned on
The place of our promise that will never return
See, I can flutter better than you thought

~Tsukiko Amano

Vox Mortum

2005-10-01T07:37:00.000+08:00

"Good eye, sniper
I shoot, you run
The words you scribbled on the walls
With the loss of friends you didn't have
I called you and the time is right
Are you in or are you out?
For them all to know the end of us all"

~ Coheed and Cambria - A Favor House Atlantic

"I thought you'd come back, at least I prayed
the romance has been dead for years
but I've been too afraid to dig the grave
relief support never came"

~ Underoath - When the Sun Sleeps

"I know the pieces fit cuz I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smoldering. Fundamental differing.
Pure intention juxtaposed will set two lovers souls in motion
Disintegrating as it goes testing our communication
The light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us so
We cannot see to reach an end crippling our communication."

~ Tool - Schism

Death for one ought not mean death for two.
We cannot die of grief unless we will.
Love requires us to love life still,
Lest love be less than life and death are due.
We cannot choose but choose for others, too,
For what we choose does what we are distill,
And open fields with inner sweetness fill,That those who pass might hope or faith renew.So may your love for loved ones that remain
Bring you through this season of despair
To some unquiet, sad, but gentle spring.
Emerging from your chrysalis of pain,
May you find a new world blossomed there
With new songs bittersweet that pleasure bring.

~Barry Taylor

Death is nothing but a moment's rest
Until the Second Coming of the Lord
When He shall gather to Him of the best
To take them to the place of their reward.
I've felt the power of Jesus in my soul
Shining like a golden sun within,
Melting my hard heart to make me whole,
Burning out the remnants of my sin.
I've felt Him work within me, so I know
The glory that will come when I awake.
I'll sleep just like a child who'll homeward go,
And in my dreams of love great pleasure take.
So do not mourn my death, and do not grieve.
The Lord will come for me: This I believe

~William Byrd

Vultus et Veritas

2005-09-23T21:06:00.000+08:00

To appear wise, one must talk;
To be wise, one must listen.

To appear to do good, one must be busy;
To do good, one must know when to stand aside.

To appear to lead, one must put oneself first;
To lead, one must put oneself last.

To appear caring, one must give advice;
To be caring, one must give space.

To appear to love, one must know how to give;
To love, one must know also how to receive.

To appear happy, one must smile;
To be happy, one must be free with tears.

That is the reasonging behind what is seen and what is the truth. For what appears to be so on the outside may rarely be true in context.

Just as a wise man is rarely found, it is true to speak that wisdom is not easy to attain.

Taking into consideration, one must know that if one were to do things wisely, one must be able to think on what one should do based on the situation, rather than what is expected of the individual in that current situation.

Acting wisely is a matter of being true to oneself and using one's own heart and mind to think, rather than letting external influences affect one's decisions.

If the opinions of others reach an individual, his mind at that moment would be tainted and he would no longer be able to think clearly as he was meant to. As such, a wise person is cautious to be swayed by words alone.

"Pius" Strages

2005-09-21T20:49:00.000+08:00

Mankind has fought wars for many millenia, and it is this that will never end. What is even more unnerving is how humans rather than be true to their nature, and fight for a tangible reason, mankind have found a new way of shifting the blame of their bloodthirsty actions. With religion.

Crusades, Jihads, and Holy Wars, nothing but facades to mask the fact that people themselves want to kill, to destroy, and in the process of doing so, gain from it, in terms of power or monetary wealth.

They tell themselves, I fight for my God and in turn, God will forgive my sins. God forgiving you is nothing. You have only the family of those you killed to answer for. God cannot protect you from dying at the hands of the vengeful. God is a lie, a delusion. Religion only seeks to console the desperate and drug the already weak mind.

A Crusade against those against ones religion is no different from the mass massacre that even people like Hitler had committed. Those who killed could not be cleared of their sins, for it is a fact that they have taken a life. It is a fact that they have devastated the family left behind by those who were killed. It is a fact that lives and land which took years to grow to crumble in less than a matter of moments.

Nothing else matters, a Holy War is no different from a normal war. for as long as blood is shed, one can be sure that he will live to see the horrible outcomes of it. Even if one stood to gain, one could never be content, not when one knows his own death will arrive in time to come, at the hands of those he wronged.

Whatever religion one serves, one would know God is but a fragment of one's beliefs and nothing more than a teaching. He or she would never be able to say a word, much less divine or order a war even as the planet came to its closing chapter.

So, if one had any wisdom, one would see through the madness of all this.

Antea et Posterus

2005-09-04T22:05:00.000+08:00

Just as the future is important, so is the past. The future is that certain string of fate that gives a person hope or another chance to prove himself worthy. It is the place where we will always end up, given time. It is the road to advancement, evolution and improvement.

But a future with no past is nothing, for without the guiding hand of yester year, future knows not its place in the thread of time. The past is riddled with the mistakes of our deeds, we leave our guilt and bad memories behind. But a human mind, so marvelous in its ability to learn and adapt can use those mistakes we made to create answers, use those bad memories and guilt to make penance and hope. In turn, these creations give mankind wisdom.

A nab with no past has no future,as he has nothing to learn from and so can never have anything to work with in time to come. Ancient sages came up with the theory of cause and effect. With nothing inadvertantly comes nothing. it can be applied here, but rather in a reversed sense from my point of view. Whereas they said that a positive cause results in a positive outcome, I would reverse it, so that the negative past gives rise to a positive future just as Man learns from history.

Most normal salarymen nowadays are pretty much contented, living day by day in an endless stream of scheduled activities. What these imbeciles can never hope to understand about life is that they should not just be worrying about their ability to afford their next meal, but instead, sit back and think over their personal history. If they had to worry about meals, what did they do wrong that had them landed in such a state? Is it because they did not do well in school? Or was it their attitudes that had them turned downed on several good jobs despite their qualifications.

If a person is able to successfully utilise both the past and the future, he has attained wisdom. The ability to create answers from the past, and manage the outcome of the future.

It is this balance that keeps everything in order and going smoothly. It is just like how diseases are cured; people remember how their loved ones die from diseases like Polio and Hepatitis, and they utilize their futures with the information they took from the past to create a vaccine for the diseases. If people could not care less after the funeral wakes, no one would even have initiated a scientific research to find the cure.

But just as one should not only see the future, they should also not wallow in the past mired in that grief, guilt, sorrow and mistakes. In short, Time in its own right is a God, for the past is the guiding light, the present is our vessel and the future is out doctrine of hope and want.

On Wisdom - Wisdom in the Modern World

2005-09-03T08:51:00.000+08:00

Secularization

1. Religion has ever been the great motivator of wise behavior, whether through veneration of ancestors, rejoicing in the law, imitation of Christ, hope for an afterlife, or pure love of God. It supplies occasions, rituals, tastes, scents, music, and poetry that tie one to wisdom from childhood and, through one's children, make one a bridge over which wisdom may pass from one generation to the next.
2. There have been many attempts to create secular substitutes for religion, but so far none has succeeded in replacing the wine of faith with the distilled water of reason.
3. Thus in a secular society there are many who have no strong childhood ties to wisdom and little definite that they wish to teach their children.
4. Others cling to religion fanatically, like survivors to the remnants of their vessels. Fanatical religion is, however, the antithesis of wisdom, since it eschews moderation, tolerance, and rationality.
5. Thus the paradox that in a society ruled by reason alone, irrational behavior increases.
6. Since it is inborn, wisdom is present in every society, as it is in every person. The question is never whether wisdom survives, but whether it is more or less.
7. In the modern world, for wisdom to be more it must find new clothes, for it cannot long go naked in such inclement weather.
8. How to clothe it well, whether by reinvigorating old traditions or inventing new ones, is a challenge and opportunity that, in keeping with the pluralism of secular society, each family must manage in its own way.

Globalization

1. In the inexorable movement towards one world, much will be gained and much lost. For example, on the positive side is the end of war; on the negative, the slow disintegration of difference.
2. Once people are free to live and work anywhere in the world, traditions, languages, and cultures will slowly disappear over generations of intermarriage and dispersal. Those who love beauty will devote themselves to preserving what can be preserved.
3. The elimination of barriers to the free movement of goods and people is a goal that ought not be opposed on grounds of national self-interest. For no life is more or less precious according to which side of a border it is born on. And all are equally entitled to the goods of the earth.
4. Thus both equity and freedom argue for globalization, and those who oppose it should argue against only the manner of it, and not the thing itself.
5. As water freed from barriers seeks its own level, so will commerce, raising the wealth of some and lowering that of others. Yet freedom increases productivity, which will cause the general level of wealth to rise for all, though not immediately to the levels once protected by privilege.
6. The task of those who care about the good of humankind is to manage globalization well, so that the one world that results be free and democratic, in which every human being has equal opportunity for health and happiness, and in which the natural legacy of the earth is preserved.

Technology
1. Technology, like evolution, is progressive, one change building upon another in an ascent towards greater complexity and specialization.
2. Thus technological change often seems inevitable: "What can be done, will be done," regardless of ultimate desirability.
3. Yet such change is always and entirely a matter of political and social will, so that although the means may exist, the end need not be pursued without our consent.
4. Even so, technology, like any tool, extends one's reach, and few who now reach four feet would refuse the opportunity to reach six.
5. It is inconceivable that we would long refuse to pursue technologies that would free us from disease and the necessity of manual labor, vastly increase our life spans, and enable us to spread beyond the confines of Earth. The distant future may find us populating other worlds and living thousands of years, far stronger and more perceptive and intelligent than we are now. Who would turn away from such a destiny, no matter what the cost?
6. Thus, as with globalization, the task is not to oppose technological change but to manage it well. This is especially true since technology not only promises to elevate us but also threatens to extinguish us, and with us all life in Earth.
7. The way to manage technology well is to allow it to develop slowly, step by careful step, always ready to sacrifice the present generation for the next, with moderation and patience.

Change

1. Wisdom is universal, rooted in human nature, which has evolved over millennia. But it is not eternal because human nature, although slow to change, is not eternal.
2. We ought, then, to consider wisdom as we do mountains or the sea--changing, but on a scale so vast and slow that to us it seems eternal.
3. Still, wisdom will change as human nature changes. For what is wise for the fox is not necessarily wise for the hare, nor is a human being who will never die except by accident likely to experience death and time in quite the way we do.
4. But human nature is rooted in nature, and nature in being, which is eternal. Thus within wisdom, as within us, is the radiance of being itself, a mystery unchanging that we have been given the grace to share, in common with amoeba, roses, and humans millions of eons hence, if such there be: eternity within time, the eternal source of wisdom everlasting, of which our wisdom is merely a breath of wonder.

On Wisdom - The Practice of Wisdom

2005-08-26T18:39:00.000+08:00

The Golden Mean

1. Aristotle proposed a simple rule for acting wisely: moderation in all things except knowledge. He excepted knowledge because it was the one quality for which he could find no excess. But for every other quality, he said, there is a deficit and an excess, and wisdom lies in finding the mean between them.
2. So, for example, courage would be the mean between cowardice and foolhardiness, humility the mean between arrogance and self-effacement, frugality the mean between stinginess and profligacy, and so on.
3. Aristotle did not have a mathematical mean in mind, but one that varied with each person and circumstance, and so the rule, though simple in statement, is complex in application.
4. A person who is prone to cowardice, for example, might have to compensate by aiming higher up the scale in order to achieve the mean of courage, while one prone to profligacy might have to aim lower down to achieve frugality. Self-knowledge, therefore, is necessary if one is to achieve true moderation.
5. Experience is also necessary, since adjustment towards the mean is a matter of trial and error, acting inappropriately and learning from one's mistakes.
6. One can also learn from models of moderation, and from reading and conversation. But only self-knowledge and experience will bring one to an intuitive sense of moderation, as well as an appreciation of its wisdom.
7. The rewards of moderation are health, happiness, and success--all, of course, in moderation.
8. One quality in addition to knowledge that might be excepted from the rule of the Golden Mean is love of being. For while the excess of love is obsession, and one can be obsessively religious, the love of being itself is boundless, informing all other love and providing the vitality that underlies all strength, all activity, and all happiness.

The Golden Rule

1. The Golden Rule can be stated either positively or negatively: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," or "Do not do to another what you would not want done to you." It is another form of the commandment, "Love thy neighbor as thyself."
2. The basis for the rule is our need for harmony and symmetry, which leads us to a desire for justice, and a sense that all are equally entitled to dignity and respect. For there is no symmetry in having one rule for ourselves and another for others.
3. The rule requires not what someone else would want you to do, which would enslave you to another's whim, but what you yourself would want done to you if you and another switched places. Thus if you found a wallet full of cash on the street, the rule requires you to imagine yourself the owner of the wallet and to act as you would want someone who found your wallet to act.
4. The rule does not require that you necessarily please others, since there are times when you, if put in someone else's place, would prefer a painful truth to a pleasant lie. For example, if you did not return someone's love, and you put yourself in the other's place, you would prefer to know the truth as soon as possible, even if it wasn't pleasant, to being led on by someone reluctant to disappoint you.
5. Since you are applying your own experience and standards to each circumstance, albeit from another's point of view, what the rule will require of you will always be in your judgment reasonable and fair. Often it may not be in your immediate self-interest, but following the rule is always in your ultimate interest.
6. The Golden Rule is one means by which the power of self-love is turned outward, becoming the force that makes society cohere. And society is the means by which we all survive. The more universally the rule is applied, the more peaceful and stable society will be.
7. There is in everyone, to a greater or lesser degree, a desire to please others, since when we are children we are entirely dependent on parental love. This desire to please, and the often anxious pleasure that pleasing brings, should not be confused with the reward for following the Golden Rule, which is entirely the result of pleasing ourselves. For there is no firm foundation for happiness in dependence on the pleasure of others. We do justice to others not because we want to please them but because we want to live harmoniously, insofar as that is possible.
8. There is a romantic notion that society is evil, and that the individual, once freed from society, is naturally good. This belief led to an overthrow of wisdom and its replacement with philosophies of will, in which moderation and consideration for others were socially implanted restraints that kept an individual from living authentically. Society is undoubtedly a tool of oppression, but the revolutions that destroyed the old societies often set up new ones that were even more oppressive. This is because we are social animals, and the individual has no possibility of either identity or survival outside of society. Thus each individual ought to strive to create a peaceful, stable, orderly, and just society, since within such a society individual happiness is most easily attained.
9. Taken together, the Golden Mean and the Golden Rule reveal the good both for ourselves and in our relations with others. To know the good in general, therefore, is not difficult, though to know it in any given circumstance, and actually to do it, remains very difficult.

Habit

1. Virtue cannot be pursued except through habit, since in most situations the need for decision is too immediate for thought. So, for example, one is likely to forget to say something courteous if courtesy is not habitual, or may tell a lie to avoid some slight humiliation if one has not made a habit of being honest.
2. If one attempts to make a habit of a virtue, there will be many times, if not most, when one falls far short of the ideal. But each error that prompts a resolve to do better will serve to strengthen the habit rather than weaken it.
3. The strongest habits are inculcated early in life, which is why upbringing and education are such powerful shapers of the person-to-be. Since as children we learn principally by imitation, to form the right habits we must have good models in the people we love. Also, our inherited temperament predisposes us to various qualities; for example, self-centered or empathic, passionate or reserved, rough or gentle, and so on.
4. But however strong an influence fortune may have on who we become, we are always free at any stage of life to set out on the path of virtue. For although the difficulty may be greater, so may the determination, especially in those who have been lost or confused and who long for inner peace.
5. As with most qualities, virtue ought to be pursued in moderation. The excess of earnestness is rigidity, as the excess of virtue is self-righteousness, and both are to be avoided.
6. Even so, to make virtue habitual one must care very much how one behaves. Good habits can be attained later in life only through self-knowledge, self-criticism, and experience. Virtue itself, however, can never be attained, since there is no virtue in considering oneself virtuous.

Character

1. Character is made up of the virtues that engender trust--honesty, integrity, loyalty, courage, self-discipline, and devotion.
2. Trust is the greatest external reward for good character, although the internal rewards are greater. If one is in business, trust is a commodity of inestimable value, while if one is in love, it is the house in which one lives.
3. Trust is hard-earned and easily lost, as one lie or act of disloyalty can throw into question years of honesty and fidelity. But a consistently good character can stand a bit of battering.
4. Society requires a certain level of trust to function, which is why societies that value good character function better than those that don't. For wealth comes from productive labor, which requires order and cooperation, which require trust.
5. Thus each person of good character is a contributor to the general wealth and happiness, and each person of bad character is a detriment. As a model for one's family, friends, and acquaintances, one multiplies one's character, good or bad, throughout society, and so each individual, perhaps more than is commonly realized, is truly responsible for the proper functioning of society, upon which the personal well-being of all depends.
6. The greatest internal reward for good character is self-esteem, which, although enhanced by the comments of others, sits squarely upon the rock of one's self-evaluation. And because one trusts those of good character oneself, one knows very well whether one is oneself trustworthy and in possession of those qualities that win the esteem of others. The greatest penalty for bad character, then, is low self-esteem, rarely admitted even to oneself, but still the source of much internal suffering.
7. Another internal reward for good character is idealism, since when one knows that one is oneself capable of pursuing virtue, one is more likely to see that capability in others and to have faith in the power of human activity to improve life. The corresponding penalty for bad character is cynicism, since one refuses to see the possibility of goodness in anyone as an excuse for the lack of it in oneself.
8. Both idealism and cynicism are self-fulfilling prophesies, the one spiraling upward, the other downward, as one's own activity and perception create evidence of their truth. Thus one makes a heaven or hell of one's existence through one's choice of character, which means that one is always free to remake it, though slowly and with difficulty.

Patience, Tolerance, and Humor

1. Patience is a sign of inner peace. When one is at ease with oneself, with what one has done with one's life, and with one's approaching death, time loses its urgency and becomes more an ocean than a stream.
2. Patience allows one to listen and observe before one acts or speaks. It allows events to reach maturity, so that choice can be better informed by circumstance. It allows time for words and acts to put on weight, so as to appear abroad with sufficient dignity.
3. One is patient with what one has accepted and impatient with what one resists. One is patient with what one loves and impatient with what one resents. Thus the more one loves life and accepts death and pain, the more patient one will be.
4. If patience expands one's time, tolerance expands one's space, allowing differences to generate interest rather than conflict so that one can learn from them and live in a wider world.
5. When others can also be right, one can begin to see the world from multiple points of view, and one's field of thought becomes more like a galaxy than like the narrow mountain valley of one's birth.
6. The burden of being right contains the additional burden of proving others wrong, which together is enough weight to keep any bird from taking flight.
7. Humor, especially self-deprecating humor, allows one to step outside oneself with a light and varied heart.
8. Humor arises from incongruity, which arises from viewing something simultaneously from multiple points of view. It therefore incorporates both tolerance and patience, teaching self-knowledge through mischievous pleasure.
9. Humor is the friend of moderation and the enemy of excess, for excess is a balloon and humor a needle.
10. Patience, tolerance, and humor must be practiced in moderation, for there are circumstances in which a light heart is not appropriate, and evils that ought not be tolerated or patiently borne. But neither ought one be so consumed with evil that one becomes incapable of happiness. For life is short and evil long, and there is no need to condemn oneself to live within its prison when all around one the world is bursting with glory.

On Wisdom - The Principles of Wisdom

2005-08-24T18:58:00.000+08:00

Freedom

1. Freedom is a physical impossibility and a metaphysical necessity.
2. While all events must have causes, being itself cannot have a cause since nothing can exist outside of, or prior to, being. At the root of all existence, then, is absolute freedom, which is why, at every moment of our existence, we experience our own being as beyond cause and effect.
3. This is true even as we know that we exist within the flow of cause and effect, and that everything we think, feel, say, and do has causes and produces effects.
4. Choice exists at the intersection of freedom and necessity, moving across from one to the other in the temporal act of choosing.
5. Thus in contemplation the choice seems free, while in hindsight it seems the effect of circumstance.
6. Because we are simultaneously enslaved and free, we have the grace and burden of choosing how to view ourselves, though neither a vision of absolute freedom nor one of total enslavement to cause and effect can be long sustained.
7. To the extent that we view ourselves as free, we are sovereign, shards of being itself, existing within but beyond circumstance, and wholly responsible for who we are and what we do. To the extent that we view ourselves as enslaved, we are machines, not responsible for who we are and what we do, helpless to engage our predetermined destiny.

Hope

1. Since consciousness cannot imagine its own demise, we live in eternity even as we recognize that time bears us swiftly towards death.
2. This moment-to-moment sense of endless possibility is the basis for hope.
3. From time to time, of course, the fabric of hope is torn and we see the blackness beyond. But in time the rent is repaired, and we return, however shaken, to a life of purpose and meaning in which the future, whether before or after death, retains its eternal promise.
4. Hope is not faith but the breath that propels faith up through the larynx to where it may be shaped by the tongue.
5. There are many faiths--in social progress, for example, or in the power of reason or prayer or love, or in the extension of one's existence through tomorrow or beyond death--but one common source, which is hope.
6. Certainty is the end of hope, both in the sense of goal and, paradoxically, in the sense of demise. For if one were certain that all that lay between one and death were unbearable pain, and that death were an absolute end, there would be nothing to hope for, and one would no longer wish to live. Similarly, if one were certain of one's own personal salvation, one would no longer hope to be saved, any more than one who was tall would hope to be tall, or one who had three children would hope to have three children.
7. A faith, then, that retains its connection to the hope that produced it must also embrace doubt, acknowledging that it is not certain, that it is faith and not knowledge. Otherwise it will be cut off from its source of energy and become rigid and lifeless.
8. Since hope comes from a contradictory vision common to all, all cannot help but hope, though to a greater or lesser degree. In fact, if one were honest one could deny neither hope nor despair, and would have to live accordingly.
9. Faith therefore should be seen not as wishful thinking but as wishful living, something all humans do, though the content of their faith may vary.

Imagination

1. Imagination is inseparable from experience, since even what we experience as the immediate moment is only partially observed.
2. All experience is a mix of sense data, reason, and imagination, the proportions changing as we move from present to future or past, or from our own point of view to those of others. But every moment contains past, present, and future, and every thought and feeling is colored continuously by imaginative glimpses into the inner lives of others.
3. We even imagine ourselves, seeing ourselves in the mirror of others, so that without imagination we would have no sense of our own identity, just as, if we lived in a world without reflection, we would have no sense of what we looked like.
4. We also cannot live with others except imaginatively. All social relations require imagination, as we can love or befriend or dislike only the person we imagine within the body we see, and can know how to treat people with consideration only by imagining what we would want in their situation.
5. Imagination infuses perception with feeling, so that a landscape might fill us with wonder and awe, or, returned to after many years, with nostalgia, or, under moonlight, with serenity, and so on. All experience is charged by the imagination with feeling, so that life is accompanied by a music to which we listen only intermittently with care.
6. Some contrast imagination and reason, as though the two were opposite rather than complementary. But both are present in every moment of experience, as what we evaluate and categorize we imagine rather than sense directly. In fact, sense data would be incomprehensible if not shaped by reason and imagination working together as two aspects of a single process.
7. Some contrast imagination and truth. But if truth is taken to mean the thing-in-itself, outside of our experience of it, then the same contrast can be made of sense data and truth, or reason and truth, or experience and truth, for there is never any guarantee about the accuracy of our perceptions, which is why the greatest accuracy, and hence the greatest truth, is in experience tested rigorously over time. But if truth is taken to signify a correspondence between what we experience and what we say, then imagination is neither truthful nor untruthful. Only we can be truthful or untruthful, as, for example, when we say that we heard something that we only surmised.
8. When we manipulate experience to create a greater clarity or beauty, we are not being untruthful unless we misrepresent what we are doing. In fact, art serves truth by reshaping experience in ways that reveal what we would not otherwise see. Just as a scientist uses reason, an everyday tool of perception, to probe more deeply into the nature of experience, so the artist uses imagination, also an everyday tool of perception, to probe more deeply, albeit in a different manner.
9. Even though imagination, sense data, and reason are indispensable, they are also not dependable. This is because reality beyond experience, though unknowable, makes itself known, often in surprising or painful ways. So although we have no choice but to trust our perceptions, we must at the same time distrust them as well, always ready to be wrong.

Reason

1. Reason is the editor of wisdom, examining, affirming, and sustaining its principles and practices.
2. One may affirm what is unreasonable, but only by an act of will, whereas to affirm what is reasonable comes naturally. This is because the principles of reason, like those of mathematics, are both intuitive and well tested by experience over time.
3. Wisdom, to be wisdom, cannot be coerced or received passively, but must be affirmed by one's own reason, tested against one's own experience and heart.
4. Unaided reason, however, cannot be trusted. Its principles are sound, but its application is problematic, since reason is often the tool of self-interest, or based on faulty observation, or swayed by desire. Thus reason must always be tested against continued observation, experience, intuition, feeling, and the opinions of others over time.
5. Truth lies in shadow, to be discerned only by sunlight as it travels across the sky, shining from a variety of angles.
6. Wisdom, therefore, even if affirmed by reason quickly, is acquired slowly, over a lifetime of careful observation, thought, conversation, and feeling.
7. Because first questions, such as the origin and nature of being, or the relation of time to eternity, are beyond the scope of reason, they are also beyond the scope of wisdom, which can function without reference to them. That is why the wisdom of various philosophies and religions can be so similar while their theologies and metaphysics are so different.

Harmony

1. All delight in harmony, symmetry, and just proportion.
2. Dissonance and asymmetry cry out for resolution, depicting even more powerfully what is not there.
3. Harmony among objects is called beauty. Harmony among or within people is called goodness.
4. Sincerity results in harmony between what one says and what one knows. Integrity results in harmony between what one does and what one believes.
5. Equity and justice are forms of symmetry.
6. Harmony requires humility, since one ought not oneself be out of proportion.
7. The external rewards of harmony are security, prosperity, and ultimately survival. The internal rewards are pleasure and inner peace.
8. Harmony is never perfect, nor is it ever entirely absent. It is always more or less.
9. External harmony increases internal harmony. Internal harmony increases external harmony. Thus when one says something true, one increases the harmony of the whole world. And when one struggles against another's oppression, one struggles against one's own.

Love

1. Love is the longing of all life for being.
2. Love for others is the longing for the being of others, an emotion without which neither we nor the human species would survive.
3. Love for others motivates altruistic behavior; that is, behavior not in the interest of one's own personal survival. Thus paradoxically one's longing for being can bring one's own being to a premature end.
4. Love for others is also the basis for moral behavior. For when all are loved, each has equal dignity and worth.
5. Love for others is, however, merely an extension of love for being, upon the strength of which depend all love, all happiness, and all pleasure.
6. The more love, the more being; the less love, the less being.
7. Thus those who love only themselves restrict themselves to one, while those who love only one other restrict themselves to two. Those who love only their own family, tribe, or nation, excluding others, are similarly restricted. There can be no true communion, not even with oneself, without love for all being, or for being itself, or for God.

Ecstacy

1. Ecstasy is the lightning that flashes whenever we get sufficiently close to being.
2. Like lightning, ecstasy is a flow of energy that cannot be long sustained, is dangerous, and is often accompanied by storms.
3. Again like lightning, however, ecstasy can be harnessed to create a more reliable, albeit feebler flow. The social instruments that harness ecstasy are art, religion, and marriage.
4. Even so, as we approach the nakedness of being, we feel a mingled terror, awe, and pleasure for which there is no substitute. The self falls away, leaving the soul naked before the nakedness of being, longing for fulfillment, for catastrophe, for death.
5. Such ecstasy can become addictive, resulting in obsessive self-destruction, as with those who seek ecstasy in repeated sex with strangers, or in serial love affairs, or in gambling or danger or drugs.
6. Experienced within a discipline, however, whether of meditation, prayer, creation, service, or love, ecstasy is the principal way in which we experience being as pleasure, and is therefore necessary to the attainment of happiness.
7. The pursuit of ecstasy is the surest sign of obsession, just as the enjoyment of ecstasy in everyday life is the surest sign of wisdom.

Death

1. Experience without death is as unimaginable as experience without time.
2. Death is the sunlight that makes all things visible, the end that measures time, the music that moves us to compassion, the nothingness that brings us peace.
3. Life and death are one gift, as are joy and sorrow. One cannot esteem one without esteeming the other, just as one cannot regret one without regretting the other.
4. The experience of death, like the experience of birth, is unique. But otherwise it is merely an experience, like breathing, like falling asleep, like any loss of consciousness.
5. What happens after death, if anything, like what happened before birth, if anything, is unknowable and therefore fit for faith and speculation.
6. A life from birth to death, however, is complete, and therefore perfect, indelible, and everlasting.
7. Though fear of death is natural, the wise know that it is also irrational, and that only by embracing death can one live with dignity and understanding.

On Wisdom - Attributes of Wisdom

2005-08-23T20:55:00.000+08:00

Universality

1. Wisdom is everywhere the same.
2. It has, however, a large and varied wardrobe.
3. Thus while wisdom may appear to be different at different times and in different places, stripped naked it is familiar to all.
4. Why, then, have various generations and cultures practiced such evils as human sacrifice, genocide, and slavery?
5. Practices come and go; wisdom abides.
6. Wisdom is not what is wise, but that by which it is wise; not what should be done, but why it should be done; not the answer, but the explanation.
7. Wisdom is simple; knowledge, complex. Wisdom is finite; knowledge, infinite. Wisdom is increasingly easy to comprehend the more one considers it; knowledge, increasingly difficult the more one knows. Wisdom leads to understanding; knowledge, to discovery.
8. The principles of wisdom are within the grasp of every child, but to grasp them is the work of a lifetime.

Rationality

1. Religions are the raiments of wisdom.
2. God is a metaphor for being.
3. All wisdom can be comprehended with reference to the material world.
4. This is not to deny the spirituality of wisdom, but rather the separation of the spiritual from the material.
5. The limitations of reason are the limitations of wisdom; the scope of reason is the scope of wisdom.
6. Experience is the landscape through which reason travels, determining what reason sees.
7. Belief in divine intervention in human affairs, or in life after death, or in reincarnation, is belief, not wisdom.
8. Mystical experience is experience, not wisdom.
9. Esoteric knowledge is knowledge, not wisdom. Esoteric practice is practice, not wisdom.
10. Wisdom must be owned, which is to say that it cannot be borrowed from scripture, faith, or tradition, but must come from one's own reason working within the sphere of one's own experience.

Basis in Human Nature

1. The principles of wisdom are not only discernible by reason but engraved upon the heart. This is because wisdom is part of human nature, which has evolved over millennia and is in all people the same.
2. One may ask, then, why all are not wise. The answer is that all are wise to varying degrees, just as all are to varying degrees intelligent, dexterous, creative, curious, and so on.
3. Wisdom guides our behavior so as to enable the species to survive. It does this in two ways. First, since society is the principal means of human survival, wisdom enables us to live with one another in relative peace. Second, since reason and will offer us uniquely the alternative of suicide, wisdom enables us to attain happiness and survive despair.
4. If experience were food, wisdom would be taste, enabling us to distinguish good from bad. And although all are endowed with taste, the education of taste enables one to make subtler distinctions and finer judgments.
5. Similarly with wisdom: the principles are inborn, but their application is much enhanced by upbringing, schooling, reading, conversation, the cultivation of good habits, and the emulation of the wise.
6. We are born with a taste for beauty and goodness, finding in them our deepest and most lasting pleasure. This is our gift as humans, though because of varying endowment and education we enjoy this gift to varying degrees.

Goals of Happiness

1. Happiness is by definition the state to which all aspire. For most, that state is one of deep and lasting pleasure.
2. Such pleasure is not to be confused with transitory pleasure, which comes and goes, while happiness, to be truly happiness, must be a state that is far more stable and certain.
3. Nor should such pleasure be confused with the avoidance of pain, for those who strive to avoid pain must also of necessity avoid happiness, which lies in the same direction as pain and is part of the same landscape.
4. Although most pursue transitory pleasures and seek to avoid pain, we know well that such behavior does not bring us happiness.
5. The deepest and most lasting pleasure is derived from the act of being, and is available to all at all times and under all circumstances.
6. Happiness therefore comes about through continuous awareness of the beauty and goodness of being. Such awareness, however, is difficult to sustain.
7. The principles of wisdom are inborn faculties that bring us to an awareness of the beauty and goodness of being and help us to sustain it.
8. To the extent that we are happy, we have the will to survive despair. Paradoxically, however, those who are most happy have the least fear of death.

Spiritus cum Patiens

2005-08-20T07:36:00.000+08:00

Be patient with life, despite its cruelty.
Often it seems careless of our pain,
But just as often brings us hope again.

Remember, I wanted happiness for you.
Under every foolish word this still was true.
Be happy, then, without, as you would with me.
In your life many sweet events remain.
Not in anguish, but in joy remember me.
===========
Clarity is something that I savored,
Lending reason to a worthy cause.
An uncommitted life is not worth living,
Relinquishing the claims for the rewards,
Embracing the illusions of the favored.

Remember me as one who never wavered,
Obeying stubbornly the highest laws,
Defending what had little chance of winning,
Not caring for the consequence, or giving
Even one brief glance at waiting jaws,
Yet loving well the world for which I labored.
==========
Even so, we did what we believed in:
Treason, yes, perhaps, but with good cause.
History will judge by its own laws,
Each act within the sunlight of the season.
Love was what inspired us, a reason
As pure as any saint in Satan's jaws.
Nor was the god we worshipped through those wars
Demonized, as later all would see him.
Justice would not just sustain our guilt,
Undoing those who would undo a wrong,
Leaving us in lucid infamy.
Instead, it would remember what we willed
Under the illusion of a songSo beautiful it would the chained earth free.
==========
Could I but give you comfort in my death,
How might I tell you what you meant to me?
All I did, both night and day, was love you,
Rulers of my kingdom and my heart.
Like gods, at last you claimed my painful breath,
Opening the door to mystery,
The final gift of all the gifts you gave me,
Taking what I could no longer give you
Even if I tried with all my art.
==========
For us there is no death.
Rest here merely bones.
Around you love's in flower,
Zero though our breath,
Etched into these stones.
Read and feel its power.

Patientia Ilmatari

2005-08-17T18:12:00.000+08:00

Suffering, that which is predominant in our world today. Do you want that suffering to go away? Does the pain, the trauma of what happens to you to just leave? It hurts doesn't it. Ilmater, oh Ilmater. He taketh the pain, and throws it away... Truly a saviour...

Ilmater is the Crying God, the god of endurance, suffering, martyrdom, and perseverance. It is he who offers succor and calming words to those who are in pain, oppressed, or in great need. He is the willing sufferer, the one who takes the place of another to heft the other's burden, to take the other's pain. He is the god of the oppressed and unjustly treated.

Gentle and good-spirited, Ilmater is a quiet, even-tempered deity who willingly shoulders the burdens of tears of a long-suffering world. Although he is low to anger, the wrath of the Broken Deity is terrible in the face of extreme cruelty or atrocities. He takes great care to reassure and protect children and young creatures, and he takes exceptional offense at those who would harm them. The Crying God appears as a man whose body has been badly mutilated by punishment on the rack, crisscrossed with marks of torture and having broken and ravaged joints. He is short, burly, balding, and wears only a breechcloth, but his kind, homely face is warm and comforting.

Misunderstood by most, pitied and even scorned by a vocal minority, the church of Ilmater yet has one of the largest and most faithful followings in Faerun. In a cruel world, the suffering, the sick, and the poor have come to rely only on the Crying God's followers to provide succor to all. The church of Ilmater is widely loved by common folk in settled lands everywhere, and its clergy can count on generous support in their lifelong mission of healing. Those who cannot comprehend why anyone would willingly submit to the torments and cruelties that Ilmater's faithful seem to welcome misunderstand the church. Among those who hate weakness, the church of the Crying God is seen as weak and foolhardy -- cruel tyrants and powerful villains alike dangerously underestimate its members.

Viscus, Hospitium

2005-08-16T18:50:00.000+08:00

In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"Its is bitter - bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."
==========
Love walked alone.
The rocks cut her tender feet,
And then the brambles tore her fair limbs.
There came a companion to her,
But, alas, he was no help,
For his name was heart's pain.
==========
"Only the fool believes he won't be fooled again."
-Chronicler Allard

Domus

2005-08-10T18:44:00.000+08:00

I give to you my very own dignity and a thousand broken shingles, each inscribed with a name. Seventy-two angels flock around your dismal neighborhood, commanding legions of generous instigators of a nameless King and his faceless Queen residing deep beneath the swollen earth and shining sun; in a kingdom of stars your face grows with shame of the great injustice you cast upon your sacrosanct shrine, one time after time in a row of lines spanning those seven homes and a church of lies.

Your subterraneous morality with fits of pandering and malevolence slides slowly in and out with each congestive inhalation; frozen there and cornered by a legion of faceless brethren, concealed by the shadows shifting slowly in the midnight moon, praying for mercy and repentance and rebirth, promulgating your renunciation to that dilapidated church; the one you built with well-meant intentions but getting closer to God resulted in a life of sin and eternal damnation. Can you blame Him for the depressions He left around your eyes? You, now a blind man on his stretcher holding out and waiting to bid his final goodbyes.

On an evening prior the Sabbath you came running through with prehensile nausea, a stomach knotted with heart broken butterflies, free from the acrid, pungent taste and delicacies, and cockroaches blending together snapping twigs and necks in tasteful indignation. That sharp, piercing of glass emanates from the fallen angels’ luscious wings in handfuls upon handfuls towards your glazed-over eyes and smile.

Ferrous winds come blowing up sunset, spraying gusts of lead down Mulholland Drive, vacuous smiles swing back and forth between the memorable faces in the crowds as the innocuous rain comes flooding down the rooftops. That despicable angel, floating through the cerise clouds, overcast like the devil’s angels, comes into view at long last after two thousand vertiginous years. Enervated, I—like the ancillary animal the angel made me believe I am—dropped to the ground, bathed in the whitest light that even the closest to God would envy. If it weren’t for the angel’s inundating winds I’d cry ‘I’m certain you have made me blind,’ but the angel or devil-in-disguise insisted on inflicting this apoplectic rupture to leave me alone and paralyzed.

The angel—in my state of paralysis—offered me, the feral human it stood before, leaving only him and the flaming grass between me and that derelict house, an opportunity to rise and transcend to the elevated heights of God and of Heaven. My demure was simple; I wanted only to return to that house in order to relish in the deviations of my own fulminating existence; the existence I call house where I fell to my knees, reciting invidious prayers to the odious devil arranged before me, in nine pellucid tiles aligned in a square, carved centimeter-deep into the western wall, casting the winged devil back into the yellow sea from whence it came so long ago.

The devil answered:
‘O pitiable fool, clothed in white linen and sheets of God, do remember that your Lord is still teething—not but a child; and children can be so cruel. And, to His children, the Children of God, He is no different.’

Infans Patientia

2005-08-09T11:42:00.000+08:00

If the fool would persist in his folly he would become wise. Deception of sight can cause trepidation, & breeds pestilence of the mind.

God lay in Heaven;
Angels sang the hymn of end;
Purple winds went moaning,
Their wings drip-dripping
With Blood
That fell on Earth.
It, groaning thing,
Turned black and sank.
Then from the far caverns
Of dead sins
Came monsters, livid with desire.
They fought,
Wrangles over the world,
A morsel.
But of all sadness this was sad --
A woman's arms tried to shield
The head of a sleeping man
From the jaws of the final beast.

--Nietzchean

The Abyss has spoken, and these are its words;
Hope was a sinking ship that was built by fools,
God's Book of Life is a book of blank pages;
Ours is a Kingdom of Death and Deceit,
... ... Taste Suffering.

Grandaevus ab Fabula

2005-07-31T21:50:00.000+08:00

"North, east, south, and west,
In towers four the purgatives rest.
Feed them where the spirits rest,
Or forever here remain, our guest."

"The sun rises, the earth warms,
Four men lie cold, yet no one mourns.
'Leave them be!' the mad lord warns,
And from my work their praise is shorn."

"Of the elements I am born,
My gift brings both love and scorn.
My touch can feel either hot or cold,
Yet I am not meant for a man to hold."

"As I stood before the offering bowl that holds the symbol of Helm and
recited the evening prayers, the waters of the bowl turned dark and
cloudy. I placed my hand in the waters to retrieve the symbol, but my
hands found nothing. The symbol was gone."

"To understand this shameful tale,
Through princely guards you must prevail.
'Neath unused arms and unstruck mail,
Will you find the coffin's nail."

"'Round and 'round the sun does fly,
And one man left below will die.
His crime? To make the peasant's eye,
Reflect his lord's ignoble lie."

"Your host was held unjustly while
The lord so full of wrath and guile
Demanded that this Bard should style
A tale to make his people smile."

"Suffer not your host's cruel doom,
Use your time to flee this room.
Shadowed dogs lurk in the gloom,
And weave escape upon their loom"

"Seasons change all that we know."

Litania ab Gregorius,Numero Duo

2005-07-24T11:57:00.000+08:00

5. Litany of St. Joseph
Kyrie eleison (repeat) Christe eleison (repeat)
Kyrie eleison (repeat) Christe audi nos (repeat)
Christe exaudi nos (repeat)
Pater de caelis Deus, Miserere nobis.
Fili Redemptor mundi Deus, Miserere nobis.
Spiritus Sancte Deus, Miserere nobis.
Sancta Trinitas unus Deus, Miserere nobis.
Sancta Maria, Ora pro nobis.
Sancte Ioseph, Ora pro nobis.
Proles David inclyta, etc.
Lumen Patriarcharum,
Dei Genitricis sponse,
Custos pudice Virginis,
Filii Dei nutricie,
Christi defensor sedule,
Almae Familiæ praeses,
Ioseph iustissime,
Ioseph castissime,
Ioseph prudentissime,
Ioseph fortissime,
Ioseph obedientissime,
Ioseph fidelissime,
Speculum patientiae,
Amator paupertatis,
Exemplar opificum,
Domesticæ vitæ decus,
Custos virginum,
Familiarum columen,
Solatium miserorum,
Spes ægrotantium,
Patrone morientium,
Terror daemonum,
Protector sanctæ Ecclesiæ,

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, parce nobis Domine.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, exaudi nos Domine.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi, miserere nobis.

V. Constituit eum dominum domus suae.
R. Et principem omnis possessionis suae.

6. Benedictus Es
1. Benedictus es Domine Deus patrum nostrorum.
Et laudabilis et gloriosus in saecula.
2. Et benedictum nomen gloriae tuae, quod es sanctum. Et laudabile et gloriosum in saecula.
3. Benedictus es in templo sancto gloriae tuae. Et laudabilis et gloriosus in saecula.
4. Benedictus es super thronum sanctum regni tui. Et laudabilis et gloriosus in saecula.
5. Benedictus es super sceptrum divinitatis tuae. Et laudabilis et gloriosus in saecula.
7. Cor Arca Legem Continens
1. Cor, arca legem continens, Non servitutis veteris,
Sed gratiæ, sed veniæ, Sed et misericordiæ.
2. Cor sanctuarium novi Intemeratum foederis,
Templum vetusto sanctius, Velumque sciss(o) utilius.
3. Te vulneratum caritas Ictu patenti voluit,
Amoris invisibilis Ut veneremur vulnera.
4. Hoc sub amoris symbolo Passus cruent(a) et mystica,
Utrumque sacrificium Christus Sacerdos obtulit.
5. Quis non amantem redamet? Quis non redemptus diligat, Et Cord(e) in isto seligat æterna tabernacula?
6. Jesu, tibi sit gloria, Qui Corde fundis gratiam,
Cum Patr(e) et almo Spiritu In sempiterna saecula. Amen.

8. Regina Caeli Lætare
Regina caeli laetare, alleluia:
Quia quem meruisti portare, alleluia:
Resurrexit, sicut dixit, alleluia:
Ora pro nobis Deum, alleluia.

V. Gaude et lætare Virgo Maria, alleluia.
R. Quia surrexit Dominus vere, alleluia.

Litania ab Gregorius

2005-07-23T11:50:00.000+08:00

1. Vidi Aquam
Vidi aquam egredientem de templo,
a latere dextero, alleluia:
et omnes, ad quos pervenit aqua ista,
salvi facti sunt, et dicent, alleluia, alleluia.
Confitemini Domino quoniam bonus:
quoniam in saeculum misericordia eius.
Gloria Patri, et Filio, et Spiritui Sancto:
Sicut erat in principio, et nunc, et semper,
et in saecula sæculorum. Amen.

2. O Quam Glorifica
1. O quam glorifica luce coruscas,
Stirpis Davidicae regia proles!
Sublimis residens, Virgo Maria,
Supra caeligenas aetheris omnes.
2. Tu cum virgineo mater honore,
Ang(e)lorum Domino pectoris aulam
Sacris visceribus casta parasti;
Natus hinc Deus est corpore Christus.
3. Quem cunctus venerans orbis adorat,
cui nunc rite genuflectitur omne;
A quo te, petimus, subveniente,
Abjectis tenebris, gaudia lucis.
4. Hoc largire Pater luminis omnis,
Natum per proprium, Flamine sacro,
Qui tecum nitida vivit in aethra
Regnans, ac moderans saecula cuncta.
Amen.

3. Virgo Dei Genitrix
1. Virgo Dei Genitrix, quem totus non capit orbis:
In tua se clausit viscera factus homo.
2. Vera fides Geniti purgavit crimina mundi,
Et tibi virginitas inviolata manet.
3. Te matrem pietatis, opem te clamitat orbis:
Subvenias famulis, O benedicta, tuis.
4. Gloria magna Patri, compar sit gloria Nato,
Spiritui Sancto gloria magna Deo. Amen.

4. Salve Festa Dies
1. Salve festa dies toto venerabilis aevo
Qua Deus infernum vicit et astra tenet
2. Ecce renascentis testatur gratia mundi
Omnia cum Domino dona redisse suo
3. Namque triumphanti post tristia tartara Christo
Undique fronde nemus gramina flore favent
4. Qui crucifixus erat Deus, ecce per omnia regnat
Dantque Creatori cuncta creata precem
5. Christe, salus rerum, bone Conditor atque Redemptor
Unica progenies ex Deitate Patris
6. Qui genus humanum cernens mersisse profundo
Ut hominem eriperes es quoque factus homo
7. Funeris exsequias pateris vitae auctor et orbis
Intras mortis iter dando salutis opem

Verbum

2005-07-22T17:55:00.000+08:00

"Dreams while awake,
Dreams while asleep,
to have dreams add joy to life.

Beware your dreams,
Beware the world around you."
================================
Quaero enim Suus non, Inquit nutus reperio tu.
Exspecto Suus non, Inquit hac iam.
Narro non tui nomen, Inquit teneo is ea id bene.
Inquit amare tu enim infinitas infinitio...

-Vera, Genus ab Azaelia;
Scicciperio Aetas CIV
================================
A man without a name is but a ghost,
passing through the world unnoticed.
His deeds, regardless of their greatness,
will be dissipated in the breeze
or attached to the name of another;
for he has no name of his own
to remember him by.

- Sami Pyorre
================================
The clock struck midnight,
And through my sleeping,
I heard a tapping at my door,
I looked but nothing lay in the darkness,
And so i turned inside once more.

To my amazement,
There stood a raven,
Whose shadow hung above my door,
Then through the silence,
It spoke the one word,
That i shall hear for evermore.

Nevermore,
Thus quoth the raven, nevermore.

And still the raven remains in my room,
No matter how much i implore,
No words can soothe him,
No prayer remove him,
And i must hear for evermore.

Quoth the raven, nevermore,
Nevermore,
Thus quoth the raven, nevermore.

Tempero

2005-07-20T16:09:00.000+08:00

I seem to have lost something, but i do not know it... What is it that i have lost? What is it...

[Control]

Yes, that is what i felt has not been in me for some time now. I seem to be unable to. Control, its gone. I can't feel myself for long.

I rage. But why am i angry? What made me do so? Why am i ablaze even though i do not wish for it?

[Insanity]

Am i crazy? Am i going to be like them? What's happening to me? I can barely touch my own shadow anymore. I have forgotten who i used to be. Why am i acting this way? I used to be disciplined. Where is that discipline now?

This can't be happening. I must find a way to find myself, again. I cannot live on like this. Control. Control. Control. I do not want to be what my shadow wants. I want to be what i want.

I cannot let it take me.

Recordatio

2005-07-08T14:46:00.000+08:00

[ What isn't remembered , never happened.
Memory is merely a record.
You just need to rewrite that record. ]

"Is that true?"

"People's memories aren't just personal or one part of the history of humanity.
Not even the shared consciousness.
Do you think humans could create something to hold memory that's that vast?
The human world creates and prays to its various gods, and humans convince themselves, "This is how the world is.""

"So memories aren't just only of the past are they?
They can be of now, or even tomorrow..."

"If so than what is the point of it all? Aren't people all just programs in a system? The flesh is but a hologram of that system."

"If I don't have flesh, than where am I?...
Thats right, I was not supposed to have flesh...
If so, than how is it that I am speaking here?
Where am I? What is this?"

"You are but a fragment of perception. Nothing breeds nothing...
There was nothing, never will be.
You are here, because you are remembered.
You wouldn't, if you were forgotten..."

Libramen

2005-07-01T18:01:00.000+08:00

Is Hell as damned a place to go as the scriptures expound? Is Heaven really the place of saints? Rather, who had the right to say what was good and bad? As much as i myself am loathe to say anything about the origins of the Tripartite Religions. It is true that what they have been taught, the pathetic manfools, are nothing more than even more lies. Who gave God Himself any authority to dictate everything? Who is he to judge everyone else but not let another of equal status to judge Him? What is His word of Justice when He does not practise equality and fairness? What is His Benevolence for if all He does is sit and enjoy the sights as His 'creations' destroy itself? Who is He to condemn those who opposed him and sent them unto Hell itself?

Men would never worship God if not for the denizens of Hell and those who oppose Him. Heaven needs Hell just as a child needs his mother. There would be no salvation with no annihilation. This is the truth of cause and effect, the essence of balance. It is not God's say that He, who created us with our full glory of free will, to fully obey his doctrine and to populate His dreamworld of ultimate domination. As beings of free will, of thoughts, memories, intelligence and more, we were created not for God, not for our parents, not for anyone but ourselves. We serve only to help save our own destinies. Those who deny themselves of free will, who after being branded with the mark of their faith at birth, the Muslims, Jews, Christians and others, are but hollow shells with no lead on life. A Faith gives a person a cause and a goal, but a faith to a superior being, more likely than not a deity can never do anything good.

Buddhism is a subtle example of a perfect faith, where equality reigns and that the Great Teacher is never a deity or and overbeing dedicated to manipulating your every step, but a wise sage who guides you as you choose your own path in this world. The Great Teacher emphasizes on balance, equality and overall free will. What is God compared to Buddha? One who selfishly hoards for followers against his opponents, as evil as they are, His Seven Virtues mean nothing if He Himself does not practise them.

Pity those who have lost their minds to a worthless cause, pity to His existence who has instigated everything, even though His teachings themselves were meant for good. So much for good if He Himself cannot do anything to stop what He has wrought.

Cras,Hodie,Abhinc

2005-06-24T10:17:00.000+08:00

"His body hated he, His life torment he;
Taketh the role of another did he.
Lost in the illusory world will he;
'Til name of his, he knows not."

--Book of Mind Chapter XIV, Chronicler Allard (Era of Enlightenment)

"I never knew my life beyond that of what I had been through, but even I could not subside that curiosity in me to peek into the future. A curiosity that would have almost certainly killed me, if lack of a better term..."

--Excerpt from Past,Present,Future - Chronicler Allard

"A word, a mere thought, could do more than anyone could ever imagine. Haste is never a good way of knowing more. When confusion dawns on thee, beat not thyself and lament. But thank the Goddess for the difficulties that builds thee."

--Oracle of Sariele to Chronicler Allard

"Air to Water,Water to Wood,Wood to Stone, Stone to Metal, Metal to Air;
That is the cycle of things, no matter how much one advances in time, everything will come back in one full circle. All that remains to be harvested is the collective memories and experiences of mankind, which is all that really matters anyway, for nothing else but that could be brought through the nether planes."

--Old Vaurenian saying

"You are strong, you can do what others cannot. You can walk through time, you can manifest anything with a mere thought of your presence. But even you cannot undo what time has done."

--Planes Shifter Ghoried to Planes Walker Jules Viktor

Inquit Videre

2005-06-23T12:22:00.000+08:00

She sees, she sees. They call to her, they plead with her, they chase after her. But as long as i live, they shall not rend her without going through me. They shall not have The Sister for her Eyes are the last hope for the Circle...

The Sister, a divine gift, an enchanted maiden, has been put under my care. And i shall endure any torment to see to it that she continues her work, her Eyes seeing the Formless, her Mind sensing them, my Fists crushing them, my Soul smiting them back to whence they cameth forth.

The Formless reach for her, stopping short as my blade sinks its teeth into their ethereal flesh. They want her, they need her, they have to kill her. Their fate rests on her death, their fate is shortened with every single second she lives. Their lives are tormented and taunted by my the Circle as long as she lives, as long she sees, as long as she senses them, effectively crushing their immunity of sight.

And i sit, on this crimson stand in front of The Sister's throne, within this mansion. And i guard her, day and night for eternity.

Infans Clamor

2005-06-13T08:55:00.000+08:00

The child stood at her doorway as she saw them pass by, she stood there crying out to Her as She left. Her softly whispered pleas ignored.

"Hast thou art forsaken thee?" She cries out, but the Lady's slender back was always to the girl, never turning back. Her heart of stone unwavering as the little child stood at the doorway crying and grasping thin air for the Lady to come back.

"Why do you leave me?" The Lady hears as faint traces of the child's voice reaches Her ears.

"Why....?"

"...Because you are not worthy of my love..." Whispered Her Grace, as she disappeared into the nether.

The child, alone and confused. The Lady, cheated and heartbroken. What good is a love for a betrayer, what good is piety without knowledge. All that comes out of it will be disappointment and shattered hopes.

And in the end, all that remains is still limbo and the cycle of things...

Orbis

2005-06-11T22:41:00.000+08:00

Looks like i have dropped out from the sky again. By the grace of the Goddess, it is quaint that i am always in the oddest of places. Anyway, i have been thinking, everything in this world sort of revolves around a circle of some sort.

My favourite form of viewing all things is in the form of the Tri-Tiered Circle that encompasses all the elements and bases of the world.

The outer tier encompasses the basis of all the natural elements and physical parts:

Fire - Water
Ice - Metal
Earth - Air
Lightning - Nature

The second tier exudes the ethereal form of life and living:

Life - Death
Mind - Soul

The central tier is what i call the Core and it is what binds everything in this world together and keeps things in motion. Most would just call it Time itself but that is not much of a statement of the Core's all roun purpose.

As i said, that is how i would view the world from...but i shall elaborate on it later. For now i rest...

Caecus

2005-05-30T17:45:00.000+08:00

How long has it been? To not be able to see already. How long has it been? That my eyes only told me what i wanted to see and not what reality is. How long has it been? That i have started this path of the blind fools.

The answer is it has been too long and i am to wake or suffer the consequences. I cannot continue living a lie. I cannot continue seeing what i want and shutting out the truth. A true Ashurean has to...will face up to the harshness of reality.

My sight will dwindle to the point of no return, not unless i do something for myself. I cannot fight a war without an army, i cannot pen a saga without ink, and truth be told in the current era... i cannot eke a living without perseverance.

Affluence has made me blind to poverty; Intelligence has made me blind to discipline,
Success has made me blind to failure; and my Dreams have made me blind to reality.

Azaelia quoth "Hope brings despair back into the fold, and colours the greys of misery."

Tymora quoth "Luck shines on the worthy, and smites the dissolute few."

Open my eyes i shall when the morn comes and Tymora shall smile upon me with Azaelia's blessings. Hesitate and the obvious opposite will happen. It is thus another moral is spoken...

Lacuna ab Consilium

2005-05-29T13:16:00.000+08:00

"The stone cannot know why the chisel cleaves it; the iron cannot know why the fire scorches it. When thy life is cleft and scorched, when death and despair leap at thee, beat not thy breast and curse thy evil fate, but thank the Builder for the trials that shape thee." --- The Hammer Book of Tenets

"Thou Shalt Not Rob From The House I Have Built, Or Commit Any Theft Or Unrighteousness, Lest Ye Be Struck Down And Driven Into The Earth Forthwith, And The Land Of The Heathen Consume You" ---The Book of the Stone

"There are those to whom knowledge is a shield, / And those to whom it is a weapon. / Neither view is balanced, but one is less unwise." -- Keeper annals

"Strike hot iron and call forth sparks / Strike a man and call forth fury / To shape man or metal to thy will / Thou must strike with force." -- Collected sermons of Karras

"When we looked at the relics of the Precursors, / We saw the height civilization can attain. / When we looked at their ruins, / We marked the danger of that height." -- Keeper annals

Angelus

2005-05-27T16:17:00.000+08:00

He came down from the path of heavens and the ultimate light and he spake the words etched into his pure mind by the Goddess herself.

"In this land of filth and evil. You are amongst those who must stay true to Her Grace. Do not deviate from her, for Her Chosen shall strike vengeful fury upon those who fall from the light. And with such, you shall find two disciples from amongst the orphaned. Raise them as your own, teach them the ways of the Feather and Steel and the rest will be their's to fulfill."

And with such i fear my time will be short, for such a sign of divine intervention is rarely if such a signal of good luck, but that of sacrifice of oneself to his belief. The last of my duties as Watcher of the mortal realm may end anytime. And it would be without doubt my span will be short and death unnatural.

But still...the idea of raising disciples in Her name has never been so exciting. It is only with such a mortal shell that the task is daunting and nigh on impossible to accomplish without failure.

It can be said though that leading the life of a singular wolf, no pack but his charges to guide and protect that the way will open smoothly.

The rewards for such a task will be beautiful, albeit i doubt it would benefit me directly, but knowing that the world would be in the careful hands of my capable proteges would give me the peace and serenity of mind to carry on.

Such a task, despite my service shall come at a price. My life... I shall forever not be tied to the mortal world but return to her embrace and sit in her presence amongst the Council of Fourteen.

Vita

2005-05-17T10:53:00.000+08:00

In life, every problem we face is like a battle. We win that battle,and enjoy the bounties of victory. We fail, and the consequences are often far from desireable. Yet it always seems that some people always were able to win their battles while others are fated to fail forever. But i would like to note that people ought to stop and think twice about how they have lived their lives. The way of dealing in problems stems from a person's character...

Battles are fought by those with the courage to believe,
Wars are won by those with power in their speech.
Battles are endured because of the brotherhood amongst Men,
Wars are glorious because of the leader's care for his men.
Battles are started by the sword,
It all ends with the voice of cessation.

Those words,although they hardly apply to me,was the motto i made when i was solving problems. One should sit back and see the big picture rather than sit so close and view it only as a problem you must deal with.

You may have the courage to carry on, but you will never finish it without thinking it through. Although the words i have said were more directly meant as a rule in governance rather than personal development, i feel that parts of it still apply to how we should see things. We should not just have the courage to carry on, but also the ability to analyze it. Friendship and Familial love supports you in your troubles but overall, you need to care for yourself to push through. Problems often start violently, but ought to be settled peacefully. And that is what makes a successful person.

Postremo

2005-05-16T16:43:00.000+08:00

I see the future, and i see it clear. Somehow, i have this uncanny feeling i have not much to live left. There is much to do and i have to set my plans in motion. I doubt i can live over the age of forty, for i prophesize my fall soon after that. The accident will be horrible, and there will be no one to mourn me. But for now, i must find a disciple, a protege, anyone who can take up this cup and follow in my steps.

For long i have wondered and feared the day. The visions were vivid, and i could feel everything i would feel in time to come. My back would break, and my body flung far and wide as if it were a doll. With Tymora and luck on my side i would be able to make do as a vegetable or paralyzed fully.

But i will worry about that later. I will work towards my goal of acquiring a pair of children, a male and a female and divide my knowledge between the two. And they shall forever withhold that knowledge until the day they themselves find descendants worthy to carry it on. Time passes and i still can feel it...my spine cracks and the painful stabs on the neck all the way to crushing pressure in my head. My limbs feel like they are being shot and my chest is full of non-existant wounds. It would be a disaster if anyone else other than the ignorant know of this. For if someone linked to me in some way knows of it, history may be changed as a result of Fate's secrets being revealed.

Divinus Unus...Necne

2005-05-10T13:07:00.000+08:00

Wouldst thou taketh the Goddess' hand or forsaketh her light? Wouldst thou embrace Her or turn from thee in search of thy's own wisdom?

Take time to ponder. For religion, of no consequential nature or background, is not always a need in people's lives. For some, it is just a mere hindrance instead.

Your path of life chooses what religion suits you best. Your choices in this world tell you if had chosen correctly. The consequences of your actions judge you best. Do not ask for forgiveness of any God or Goddess for they were never your judges. Religions had from old always been a guiding light for people. Do not assume that just because you are pious to your Leader that you are infallible.

You need not speak for They will speak to you;
You need not see for They shall see for you;
You need not hear for They shall hear for you;
You need not taste for They will taste for you;
You need not touch for They will touch for you;
They will forever be your guide in this world for they are your Guardians.

It is sad though that the words of many Divine have been misinterpreted. Sadder still is the fact many kill in the name of their Lord. No religion in this world has ever preached death save those of the dark side. No religion has ever preached sin and vice. Yet many sinned, and had the gall to ask for forgiveness. Nay! i say for your God would never forgive you if He could, your actions will bring about the consequences. Your sins shall be your downfall, the pain you caused will forever give you agony. In contrast, the love you gave would bring u joy and contentment. Always remember, the role of your Lord...

Incomitatus!

2005-05-09T20:17:00.000+08:00

Enough! Alone! And thats what i wish for to stay! No longer shall thee be disturbed. Begone you tainted blasphemers of Her Grace! No longer shall thee suffer under thy cruel iron palms.

That is what i only want. Silence...and the shadow...is it more to ask? There is no need for words, for actions speak the truth. There is no need for feelings, for all else is mere opinion. There is no need for favours or allegiances, for everything will come to nought.

These words will forever ring in the heads of more to come as the Chosen are brought to a higher level of understanding. Do not seek companionship for all living die. Do not seek love of something or someone for all of the material world leaves. Be contented with none but compassion for whatever is around us, and happiness will find a way even in solitude.

Walk the path of the loner and be free from troubles, walk the path of the meddler and forever be bound to the never ending tangle of fate. Stay the hand and never need worry of retribution, let it itch and forever know guilt. One does not need to be in the affairs of others to show a sense of aid for them, all one needs is his encouragement for another and that is all.

Never allow others to deal with your issues for you are honor bound to deal it yourself. Never allow others to feel for you for you yourself are susceptible to the ravages of time and space and your lack of presence in future shall cause hurt.

Contemno

2005-05-08T08:58:00.000+08:00

Oh hate for that is a strong word, it cometh power and untold suffering!

One thing I've always found hard to accept about the Human condition is our capacity for hate.
We select a ethnic, racial, religous, political or non-conformist culture and seek not only to destroy it, but to blame it for all our faults, social ills and problems.
A case in point is the treatment of Jews in Germany during the 30's and 40's. Also the treatment of Blacks and Communists during the 50's and 60's in America.
What is it about us that drives us to hate and drives us to take extreme measures to destroy the focus of that hate?

Yet is it all that bad? I have always thought that both love and hate were a perfect unison, a man could not do without one or the other. They both must be best kept in check, never allowing one side to be ever greater than the other. Or they both would be better off never there in the first place. I know for one that it was because of hate or love that many people died, both great and notorious.

Many died because Hitler hated the Jews to the extreme for what they were. Although i admit that he was a particularly brilliant person, i would never abhor his actions towards the ones he considered unclean.

Love to has a consequence on everyone. Love has destroyed many lives. Love for others has caused countless emotional murders, distress over loved ones, sacrificed saviours for nothing. It is right to love, for it is what keeps the world going. But i would only accept it to a certain extent of compassion, compassion to others, to help others when needed, to treat people like brothers and sisters. But full love...Passion in itself...destroys men's will when their loved ones go...

And thus, the cycle of birth and destruction continue just as the cycle of Love and Hate continue...forever...

Visum

2005-04-17T13:08:00.000+08:00

See the world not through your feelings, not through your imagination, not through mundane colours that the eyes see it. Not with your spirit,ambition or purpose. See the world through your base primal wants.

With want comes the ability to do without conscience...without conscience comes the ability to do things that no one else would do. And when one is able to do anything it takes to get something, he will succeed. But with reason and technical sense, one will be able to avoid destroying himself or the greater good in the process. and only thus he will be able to make his mark in history.

But with that attitude comes great responsibility. If one were to know that he wants something,yet acts without reason, he is sure to doom himself to destroying what is needed to get by, but also what is needed to help him get by.

If one were to have a great mind, and were able to do as what is thus said. He will have already forever made his mark in the history of mankind, for it is one thing that is not easy to accomplish amongst us...creatures with hearts and minds that produce feelings which hinder us from doing drastic things.

Felicitas

2005-04-06T18:44:00.000+08:00

Happiness is the one thing that nobody is born with. In life, we all have to reach out and search for our own happiness. But everyone takes happiness for granted. I have heard of a story once, and it was pretty heart-wrenching. I would say it depicts how happiness could be so easily stripped from a person just like that.

I would pen the story down here and now, so that it shall last as a reminder forevermore what people have taken for granted so easily...

Once there was a boy who had lost his parents from young. His uncle who was forced to look after the child by the other relatives often grudgingly abused him...eventually having the boy thrown out. The boy, Johann, later was nearly knocked down by a car as he roamed the streets at night,homeless.

The lady who came out of the car, was concerned and upon seeing that he was a vagrant child, brought him home, and took him in as her son. The lady Sophia cared for Johann and they loved each other much just like a mother loved her son and in return,the son loved his mother.

Yet one day, when Sophia did not come home, Johann was worried. He waited and waited for a week, weeks passed and months came. He decided to look for Sophia in the neighbouring town in which she worked in. But the hospital that she worked in was nothing but a pile of reduced rubble...burnt to the frames.

A passerby...an old man who had come back to pay respects to those who died knew Sophia...for he was one of her patients once. And Johann heard the news of her death...

Yet all he could do was go home...and wait and wait...his heart broken...lying there forevermore...

And thus i conclude my story. That not all the time are we in such luck to have the priviledge of family love and happiness....i hope people would come to understand that we should not take the word happiness for granted...and treasure every second,every minute,every hour that it is there in out hearts.

Contemplatio

2005-03-23T15:14:00.000+08:00

I sometimes feel that i am thinking too much about the outermore reasons of the world. It can be hectic at times, sometimes confusing. I do not know why, but it has always nagged at me on why some people do certain things, what is the reason for life, and so on and so forth.

It has come to dawn on me that it would be so much better if i led the life of one who watches. It has been a dream since young that i would forever live, and while the world dies around me and evolves bringing new life, i would be there, knowing everything. I would take part in the world's greatest events, and slink back to the shadows of myth- to be nothing but a spoken legend. I would be there to be part of every epic story; stories of love,hatred,war,betrayal and such.

But such immortality would always have a price...for as my loved ones die around me, i would have to continue my life in solemn dedication to my work, lonely and dejected, never to be known for it would endanger all i worked for...

But such belief i have in this dream of mine that i have begun to prepare even though i feel that it would never come for me. I would always tell myself " Never get attached to anyone,anything or anywhere. For to attach oneself to material possessions would mean never ending agony once it is lost to time and eternity..."

So for now,i wait...and wait...and hope i would one day have the ready mind set to take on the duty of guiding the world through its life and death...

Prosapia

2005-03-18T13:49:00.000+08:00

I was once told by my aunt, who was told by my grandfather in turn :"A family is only there for you for one lifetime,never more,never less." She then continued to add on that :"Having heard that,should you now treasure your family for that one lifetime where they would be with you? Sharing your burden and pain?"

Having heard that,i felt that there was so much meaning behind it. Familial love was something not everyone had, not something anyone had in common. There was something more to that than just people banding together under a similar household.

Yet people, blinded by either power or greed, continue to vie with their kin for material wealth and power. Would that bring them happiness as a family does? Will they be able to bring all they fought for to the afterlife with them? I had always believed that the only thing that i would have for eternity was my memories. And even though memories would be destroyed upon a new life after rebirth, it would always be preserved somewhere in my mind, and in the legends and stories of the world.

These memories, would always include my family. To mar these memories with horrible experiences would be to destroy ones self, his soul,his only possession after death.

That is why,i would do anything to make sure i have nothing but good memories, on the day i die...

Refero...

2005-02-27T17:10:00.000+08:00

Is there ever a right answer to anything? For a long time, religious leaders have preached the one true way in life. Many others believed that in every choice only one decision could produce a positive outcome. But is that true? Does doing evil and causing chaos necessarily mean that your fate is sealed in damnation? Does doing good and relieving the suffering around yourself mean that you will have a place in heaven waiting for you?

And are we even sure that causing mayhem in society would make us suffer in damnation? Sometimes the consequences can be totally different. For all we know, maybe wreaking havoc may actually be better IF the government is iron fisted and severe actions ought to be taken. And maybe the killing of one man could have saved the lives of thousands maybe millions.

I for one could never imagine a world whereby whatever you do, you would receive an answer that depends on your actions, for such a world never existed. People are incomprehensible creatures and we would never know what they would do, or how they would react in every second of their lives. We are not machines, fate does not control us, and humankind's destiny is in their hands. Those who whine that their fate is sealed have only to reach out and grab their strand to start working on how they want their lives to play out.

Redemptio...

2005-02-12T23:10:00.000+08:00

"He had a heart of gold, born of good and light of heart. But all good would eventually succumb to the dark. And it was true for as the child turned to adolescence, he had already embraced half the evils. Despite the fact that he was aloof and arrogant, there was no mistake that a glimmer remained in his heart.

He would fall one day,but be given another chance. And it was that chance that would decide that whether he would turn away or go back to his ways of evil. The boy had killed, lied, murdered, and manipulated his way through people for personal gains. Never once did he stop to think that what he did would end up hurting anyone around him.

But despite the fact that he had harmed people to the brink that he would forever be hunted down by them in their acts of vengeance, there was one and only one who still believed in him. And that person did all he could to save him, and tried to placate those who swore to bring the boy's downfall. It was then that the boy would be given a second chance, to either redeem himself or to forever fall..."

Morsus...

2005-02-05T13:52:00.000+08:00

"Pain...it flows through me. When will the never ending spiritual torment stop? The Gods taunt me,giving me no rest. Has thou art forsaken thee? I dream...and dream, past lives. All generations shared the same dreadful fate.

The one of yore, died a heartbroken warrior. The one of old, died a betrayed lady. I long for the day whence the Goddess takes me and gives me the eternal slumber,in which I shall rest forever. And when pain flows no more."

{Parvelus Vicus Puera}

2005-02-02T15:34:00.000+08:00

The girl, prophesized to either bring doom or salvation, was born...

The girl's mother called for her to come into the house. For some reason,the sky had turned grey whence the blue clouds usually flooded the blue sky. Riesz unquestioningly obeyed her mother's orders, not the least bothered with her urgency.

The town bustled with anxiety. Farmers fled to their homes, merchants closed shop and the local militia took positions. Not one knew what was going to happen in the next moment or so, for all they knew was the blind prophets words of:

"Stormy skies spit out the hordes of Evil, and in the aftermath, the Chosen One shall die. And from the bloodies body of the Chosen One, shall the Prophecy be set into motion."

Tense guardsmen look out to the horizon behind the wooden walls of Archenar. The dark clouds flashing thunder and lighting. It was then, at the third watch, a cry for battle sounded from behind the hill that faced Archenar. Hordes of unfathomable creatures rushed onwards, pouring themselves towards the gates of Archenar. Despite the valiant efforts of the militia, the Horde of Evil managed to flood the town.

Screams, blood, fear, brutal massacres were the scene...

Creatures lined the road by the gates as a black-clad robed figure slowly walked the path towards a farmhouse. By the creche lying lifelessly was the body of a child...the girl prophesized to be the Balance...

The robed man barked an order and a pair of ugly behemoths stepped forward to pick the girl,and carry her to wherever the robed man would need her be...

{Incipio Fabula}

2005-02-01T15:34:00.000+08:00

Two fates? intertwined together? this is but the beginning... after the Great Fall of Terra and the Miraculous founding of Vauren,and later the establishment of an Ashurean nation. Azaelia, who had led the scattered fragments of humanity to a new lease of life on Vauren, ascended the pathway to immortality after her unfortunate demise during the 2nd Clash. Azaer, Azaelia's lover before the Exodus and trusted aide during the Rebirth, commited suicide and swore to serve Her in the afterlife.

Time passed, and Azaer noticed Her negligence towards him as the strain of Her duties kept her away from mundane affairs. Hurt deeply, He fell from Light's grace and decided to create a progeny of mortals dedicated to him.

But things did not come as planned for after the creation of His army, one of His most promising lieutenant, Rahgnol betrayed Him, banishing Azaer to the deepest pits of memory...forgotten.

Rahgnol proceeded to take the mantle of the Dark Lord from Azaer, and after forcing the local gods of Vauren to swear fealty to him, marched onward to claim Azaelia's share of the faithful for himself.

In the great and devastating battle that ensued, Azaelia was slain, but not before Rahgnol had been so wounded that he neared destruction. The forces of Darkness, annihilated, retreated towards their share of the world, never to be seen again...for now. The death of the Goddess was never related and people continue in hopes she would one day return.

And in the aftermath, was an unwed woman, pregnant with the seed of Rahgnol...the child who would be prophesized to be the key to shifting the balance of favour to either side in the neverending war...

Somnium...

2005-01-31T15:09:00.000+08:00

"Who am I? What am I? ever since young,the visions came. i am cursed. living tragic lives after another... no end to this torment. why is it that i, one who is never good at anything seem to always do so well at everything? yet, when i do whatever i can i seem to fail?

i live two lives, parallel strands of fate yet tied so closely that each entity could hear the other's breath. what is my history? why is it that somehow or rather,the world seems to have twisted events that center around me? why is it that everyone in the world seem to know something about me that i do not? i understand strangers more than i could ever of myself... "